InsaneJournal

Thursday April 2, 2009 Phone Call: Finn/Garret


Finn:: *calls Garret late Thursday night*

Garret:: *confused* Um... hi? Is someone dead?

Finn:: *giggles* Is that the only time I can call you?

Garret:: It's usually the only time you call me

Finn:: *in a sing song voice* Well, not this tiiiiime.

Garret:: Oh god... what do you want?

Finn:: *tries to use a sultry voice* Why you of course.

Garret:: *long pause* Um... okay... so what's up?

Finn:: I'm shit faced in LA and I think I've exhausted all the girls out here because there's not any in my hotel room. *chuckles*

Garret:: *small laugh* I take it you're enjoying yourself then?

Finn:: Yes, yes I am. I have you to thank for that my dear Garret. You should just, really fly out here and just fuck it all with me. You'd be havin' a blast!

Finn:: . . . Soooo, whatcha wearin'?

Garret:: *scoff* You're hilarious, really.

Finn:: Seriously dude, what're you wearin'?

Garret:: *annoyed* Pajamas. Why?

Finn:: Uh-huh, silk or cotton?

Garret:: Wh... what?? What the hell are you talking about?

Finn:: *chuckles* I'm trying to start sex talk, but it's not workin' apparently.

Garret:: ......Um...... you do know you called me, right?

Finn:: Yeeeeep. That's how drunk I am.

Garret:: *realizing* Ah, I get it now.

Finn:: Uh-huh, so whatcha wearin'? Or do I have to use my imagination?

Garret:: Finn, this isn't happening.

Finn:: But what if I want it to?

Garret:: You don't. You're just drunk, and you're... I dunno channeling Rorie's brain or something.

Finn:: Yes, I am. Rorie wants to know what you're wearing and where your dick is.

Garret:: *pause, then laughing* Oh he does, huh?

Finn:: Yes. He does. Like. . . Where is it supposed to be? Hmmmm?

Garret:: Tell him he should look over his shoulder because it's in his ass right now.

Finn:: Nooooooo it's nooooooot. If it were you wouldn't have answered the phone, you naughty boy. *giggles and hiccups*

Garret:: I might've. You don't know.

Finn:: Well then, put the phone on speaker so I can listen!

Garret:: I'm gonna hang up now.

Finn:: Nooooo! Garret! Please don't hang up! *grumbles*

Finn:: I'll share the drinks with you.


Garret:: I'm on the east coast, kitten.

[Finn:: I'll drink them for you then. *pauses to take a drink* It's too quiet here. You can be loud and talk a lot. Talk. It's better if you do.

Garret:: I thought you left to get some quiet?

Finn:: I did, but not quiet like quiet quiet. I wanted quiet from the quiet.

Garret:: So you want noise in your quiet?

Finn:: I want intelligent noise. Not that muffled shit from everyone else.

Garret:: You want intelligent noise so you called me? Aww, I'm flattered.

Finn:: You make sense and I hate it when you do, but sometimes it makes things better even if I don't think they are.

Garret:: You're amazingly perceptive for a drunk

Finn:: I have been drunk for the past. . . What's today? *mumbles as he counts* Three? Four days? I've fucked myself out and now the words are all making a settled bed in my head and it's. . . Weird.

Garret:: Getting drunk and having sex with random people doesn't fill the void like you'd hope, does it?

Finn:: It's like a blackhole and just-just sucks everything into it. I hate him and I hate him, but I want him to just. . . I wanted him to be that thing that doesn't exist.

Garret:: *softly* Finn...

Finn:: He picked Rorie. Rorie for fuck's sakes! Rorie who can't even, fuckin'-fuckin' tie his own shoes without somehow fuckin' strangle hims-self. . .
[
Garret:: He had to pick Rorie.

Finn:: Because that's who everyone picks. Everyone picks Rorie. Even when I went out of my way to make them not pick him, they wanted him. I hate him. . . I hate them both and her. I hate the fake parents because it's their fault. They were fuckin' pricks and the fake family and the fake life and the real family because. . . They didn't care. No one ever cares unless-unless it's got somethin' ta do with them. . . And I have nothing, so it will never be me. So. . . Let's have phone sex.

Garret:: *sighing heavily* Finn, you don't understand. Liam had to pick Rorie because you're too strong. You're right, he's weak and everyone kowtows to him because he can't look after himself. Liam needed him in to get to you. Because he knew that if he had Rorie, he'd have you.

Finn:: But he didn't have me. . . He just had Rorie and. . . I killed him.

Garret:: Yeah, you shot him. Rorie fell into his trap and did what he wanted, and you fuckin' shot him in the head. Why would he want that close at hand?

Finn:: Because he knew that's what would happen. . . Because I'm just like him.

Garret:: You're not just like him. You're not.

Finn:: Yes I am. I did what he would have done. . . I'd do it again in a heartbeat too.

Garret:: It's not the same! If you were like him, you'd be running Boston right now. But you're not. You did the right thing, and he wouldn't.

Finn:: I did? I might've replaced him with someone even worse. I probably killed his wife and kid too. . . And I still don't feel bad about it. Fuck 'em all. Can't fuckin'. . . *growels and huffs* 'What underwear are you wearing?

Garret:: You're not like him. You're not. I know you, you're better than him in every possible way.

Finn:: That doesn't tell me what underwear you're wearing. *pulls away and shouts* That's right! We're talking about his underwear you douche!

Garret:: Who the hell are you yelling at??

Finn:: The dead. *grumbles* I need more alcohol. . . *sounds of clinking* There we go. I knew you were back here. So, about that underwear.

Garret:: *deep sigh* I'm not wearing any.

Finn:: I didn't think so, just wanted you to say it. *chuckles and pauses to take a drink* What kind of pjs are you wearing, you never said.

Garret:: No I didn't.

Finn:: Sooo, what are they?

Garret:: You should go to bed, sleep this off

Finn:: Nooooo. It's barely ten.

Garret:: You're drunk enough

Finn:: You mean not enough. I agree.

Garret:: *sternly* Finn.

Finn:: *mocking* Garret.

Garret:: Just go to sleep.

Finn:: I don't wanna and you can't make me. Besides, I thought you were my friend.

Garret:: I am. You're not thinking straight, you need to sleep it off.

Finn:: No, I'm thinking straighter than I have been. *pauses and giggles* I like puns.

Garret:: What pun?

Finn:: Thinking straight when-when I don't act straight. *laughs before whining* Oooooh. You weren't there. I forgots.

Garret:: Jesus, what now?

Finn:: No, no, way before now. Like-like last week now.

Garret:: Nevermind. I don't wanna know.

Finn:: No, you don't. It was weird and gross and I had to sit on frozen peas.

Garret:: *siiiiiigh*

Finn:: Seeeeeeeee. This is why I can't tell anyone anything and then-then they get mad when I say I'm confused or doing something and they get all fuckin' huffy an-and shits.

Garret:: You're not confused, Finn, you're... you're just being wreckless.

Finn:: No I'm not! It's not my fuckin' fault someone twists my emotions and makes-makes me feel shit I don't wanna.

Garret:: So... he... raped you?

Finn:: No! He just fuckin' did shit and I didn't say no and it was fuckin'. . . Weird. He didn't just. . . He just stood there! Like-like it was nothing! Like random straight guy sex was normal and I'm not gay! I'm not! I'm. . . Fuck. . .

Garret:: Alright, alright... just calm down, ok?

Finn:: I can't talk to anyone! Be-because Rez would flip and fuckin' kill me and Rorie wouldn't fuckn' know what to do and. . . I don't like being drunk like this, but I wanna be drunk so it'll go away. *huffs*

Garret:: You can talk to me about it.

Finn:: I don't-don't want to because then you gotta take care of me and I don't need to be taken care of. I can tie my own shoes. I just. . . My head is white noise.

Garret:: Baby, I don't even know how to begin taking care of you. *small laugh*

Finn:: *growls softly* I just don't. . . I don't want to go back because it sucked and it just. . . Sucked.

Garret:: *small* You promised.

Finn:: No! I don't wanna go back to the hospital! I know where this goes! I go off the deep end again and I'm right back down the hall from Lizzy Bourdin and Jack the Ripper and I'm sick all the time while going even more crazy!

Garret:: You won't. You're not going to go back there, I won't let you. Okay? So just don't even worry about it because I'm not going to let you.

Finn:: *sighs and goes quiet for a few moments* It was Riley. Last week.

Garret:: Oh.

Finn:: My little brother's therapist of all people. I. . . *pauses and takes a drink* Something went wrong with our powers and I guess I got horny from him being horny and it-it like bounced back and forth making it a horny room or something and when it was over. . . I didn't like it.

Garret:: That's not surprising. Are you okay?

Finn:: I hate having this shit. These stupid powers that are just. . . Worthless.

Garret:: They're not worthless. You just need to figure out what they're good for.

Finn:: Getting me into shit I don't want.

Garret:: There's got to be a good side to them

Finn:: I don't want them. If I didn't have them, I'd be fine. I'd be even better.

Garret:: You might not be. You might be worse.

Finn:: I miss. . . Being able to just not care. To just go with it and not worry about anything.

Garret:: Yeah. I know what you mean. Life's a lot easier when you don't have people to let down.

Finn:: I don't have anyone to let down. No one besides you and Rorie and I do that all the time.

Garret:: No you don't.

Finn:: Yes, I do. Name one time I haven't.

Garret:: You killed a guy because of me. And you came looking for me even though I was dead. That's... you have no idea how much that means to me.

Finn:: *quiet, soft sniffle before clearing his through* No problem.

Garret:: I mean it, Finn. You could have left me to die and you didn't.

Finn:: Fuck you for making me feel fuckin' sappy. *clears throat again* Put on fuckin' 'Notebook' or something.

Garret:: *smiling* Cotton.

Finn:: Pjs? Fuckin' comfy.

Garret:: Yeah. They're Mal's, and he uses fabric softener so they're just... amazing.

Finn:: I. . . I haven't done laundry and I haven't showered and I stink and somehow I got girls like this. . . I wanna find a way to turn it off.

Garret:: Do you still look like Rorie?

Finn:: Yeah.

Garret:: Oh well that's it then. You look gay. Women always want to sleep with a homo.

Finn:: I'm still mad at him.

Garret:: I know. You should be.
[22:09] Finn:: He can't even tell and that makes me even angrier. I. . . Everything is just mixed up and it snow balls and even when I'm a continent away it still. . . I wonder if I take off the ring and look like me if anyone would still be around me.

Garret:: *gently* Of course they would. You can be really sweet when you try to be.

Finn:: Then why did I get dumped? Why did everyone just turn on me? They know what I am and what I did, even if they don't know me. Everyone automatically went to how hard it was for Rorie or how hard it was for you and Mal. No one even thought of me. I hate him for it. He ruined everything.

Garret:: *scoffing* Nobody thought it was hard for me or Mal. Nobody. I can't pretend that I know what you're going through, but I do know how it feels to just... be fucking wrong all the time. To have everyone staring at you like you're the biggest piece of shit on the planet.

Finn:: I'm tired of people that fuckin' come out of the woodwork when it's good and just kills everything good I've got and. . . I'm never going to be happy.

Garret:: Yes you will

Finn:: No I'm not. Because no one will ever want to be with me because of all the shit I've done. I won't be able to tell them right off the bat and when I do, they'll get mad and upset and when I try to explain, they don't care. All they care about is that I didn't tell them right off the bat I'm a murdering molester. Doesn't matter how it happened or that I'm fine or anything. No one will ever get it and they'll. . . I'm better off alone anyways.

Garret:: Everyone's got a past, honey. I know some are worse than others, but... you're not too far gone yet. I know it seems bleak right now but it gets better. It does.

Finn:: Not all of us can have a naive little shit like Rorie. Or even Mal who doesn't care.

Garret:: Finn. Don't.

Finn:: It got better for you. All you've got is that you can't help but sleep with other people. That's fuckin' manageable. I've got felonies that would put me away for the death penalty. Who's going to over look that? It won't get better for me. No matter how hard I try or how much I stick my neck out for others.

Garret:: You'd be amazed what people are willing to overlook. You just can't give up.

Finn:: No, I don't want to. I am tired of trying and getting it shoved back in my face. Everyone expects me to be a fuckin' jackass, then they can have him!

Garret:: No, Finn. You expect people to think that. Your girlfriend dumped you because she's a weak little idiot who didn't deserve you to begin with. Nobody has shunned you, you're shunning yourself.

Finn:: You don't hear them, Garret. Watching me walk down the halls, wondering if I'll snap again. It took you and Hope to get me a fuckin' job there and even then, I was walking a fine line. First fuck up and I'm gone. I'm lucky I got that much.

Garret:: *soft* I hear them.

Finn:: Then you know.

Garret:: What do you want me to tell you? You're right. You're right and it's total shit and if I could kick the crap out of everyone I'd do it.

Finn:: Yes! Because-because then

Finn:: I wouldn't feel like I'm the only one that notices and no one cares!

Garret:: People will always talk. That's just how they work.

Finn:: That's all you ever say! The people will always talk! Not that 'it sucks' or 'they're assholes ignore them!' Like their talking truth! That I should expect everyone to just talk and not stick up for me! I've done so damn much of that! Sticking up for Rorie and you and Rez and all I get is 'People will talk!' Like I'm not even worth fighting over because they're right.

Garret:: *growling* Are you fucking kidding me??

Finn:: Yes, I'm an ungrateful asshole that's had you stick up for me plenty of times. Go ahead, get mad!

Garret:: People are assholes. You should ignore them. But you won't because you're a self-indulgent douchebag who wants to be miserable and half the time throws himself into his own problems. Nobody loves you, nobody cares about you, and nobody bends over backwards to try and help you and prove that you matter!

Finn:: You don't fuckin' get it! You don't get it! Why did I fuckin' call you!? I try to fuckin' get shit off my chest and get fuckin' unconfused and I fuckin' try to get fuckin' something and all you do is treat me like a whining baby! Fuck you!

Garret:: Because all you DO is whine like a baby! Shit is hard, so what do you do? You brood and sulk and say 'I was trying to turn shit around' and just cling to that, you mourn it like the world has come to an end and you can't do anything ever again. God, what do you want me to say?!? When I tell you it'll get better you say it won't, when I agree that it won't you tell me I'm a shitty friend, when I give you everything you ask for, get you away, get you a job, get you stability, you complain that I'm coddling you! And when I don't do things for you, I'm an asshole! *pause, huffs* And now you're probably gonna hang up on me because I'm yelling at you and you think I 'don't understand'. Well fine. I'm used to being an asshole, Finn! Add yourself to the list of people who hate me!

Finn:: I fuckin' killed my father and I liked it! I fuckin' liked it because it meant he was gone from our lives! Except he's not! He's got every fuckin' medium from up the street to Timbick-fuckin'-too hounding me! I haven't slept in nearly two days and been drunk for most of it! I have so much shit bottled up and I'm taking it out on you and I'm fuckin' scared! *huffs going quiet, then softly* I'm. . . I'm sorry. I don't. . . I don't hate you. I shouldn't-shouldn't have yelled at you.

Garret:: Don't go soft on me now, kid. Keep yelling if it helps.

Finn:: I hate him! I fuckin' hate Rorie and I hate Liam! I hate our parents! I hate everyone at school! I wanna make them hurt like they hurt me! I hate them! I hate them! *sucks in a breath, letting it out in a shudder* I hate them.

Garret:: You don't mean that.

Finn:: I can't. . . I fuckin' hate him because I love him.

Garret:: You don't hate him. This barely has anything to do with him at all.

Finn:: I don't know. I just hate. . . and he's there. I can't hate Liam because he's dead and there's nothing to do except run from the fuckin' people he's got finding me. He's there and I can't aim what I'm so fuckin' mad at so. . . He gets it.

Garret:: I think what you're really mad about is that you got the short end of the stick. Rorie fucked up, but you're the one paying for it. You're the older brother, so everyone is always going to look to you to figure it out. It's not Rorie's fault that you got dealt such a crappy hand, and it's not your fault either. And maybe that's what's pissing you off so much.

Finn:: I don't wanna, but. . . I just fuckin'. . . It's like before. Like I was before I got better. I wanna hurt something or someone, I wanna make someone. . . *growls softly* I wanna make 'em pay! Just so I have something to make me feel better and I know it won't and it'll just. . . Get me in even more trouble, but. . . I fuckin' want it! *cries out, hurls an empty bottle against a wall and breaks it*

Garret:: *gently* I know.
[
Finn:: I wanna hurt him and I know what'll happen if I do and part of me doesn't care and part of me does and it makes my head and chest ache. . . Then there's a part of me that just doesn't want anything to do with anyone. I'm just. . . *hisses* I want some good quiet.

Garret:: *quiet a moment, then sighs* Take off that ring.

Finn:: *silent before softly breathing as he takes it off*

Garret:: *small laugh* You know you can't pull off the 'rolled out of bed look' as well as he can.

Finn:: *grumbles softly*

Garret:: The jeans aren't bad though. If you got rid of the shirt you'd be fine.

Finn:: *sounds of ruffling before grunting softly* Better?

Garret:: Yeah, actually. You look like... you.

Finn:: *snorts*

Garret:: That's not bad. You're... y'know, handsome.

Finn:: Yeah, in a weird Irish druggy way. At last that's how I feel right now.

Garret:: You look like a wreck

Finn:: Heh. No wonder no one wanted to come up tonight. . .

Garret:: Maybe it's because women can smell misery

Finn:: *sticks his tongue out*

Garret:: And probably b.o., you did say you didn't shower

Finn:: For three days.

Garret:: Yeah, maybe you should fix that

Finn:: After sobering had begun. I don't wanna drown. It sucks.

Garret:: Okay, that's reasonable. I don't want you drowning either.

Finn:: I don't feel better. . . but I don't feel worse. It's. . . Just numb.

Garret:: Numb is a start, I think

Finn:: I like it. Makes my head and chest feel better.

Garret:: *smiling* Good.

Finn:: I want it to stay like this.

Garret:: One day at a time, sweet thang. One day at a time. *yawn*

Finn:: *quiet a moment* I'll let you go.

Garret:: S'ok. I don't mind.

Finn:: How'd we end up like this?

Garret:: Like what? You laying on a hotel bed and me on the couch talking aatt..... one thirty in the morning?

Finn:: Kinda. . . Just. . . Talking to each other, period.

Garret:: Well you called me, and then you asked me what I was wearing, and then you probably started touching yourself because I'm so damn irresistable...

Finn:: I'd laugh if I wasn't in that stage of my head feelin' all fuzzy drunk.

Garret:: Don't throw up, okay? I can't handle that shit.

Finn:: i don't throw up. I just lay here and feel fuzzy. It's the bed. . . I think.

Garret:: Uh huh, okay... you're gonna fall asleep soon. Pass out.

Finn:: Prolly. Sleep might be good. Not decideded yets.

Garret:: You should go to sleep. We can figure things out tomorrow

Finn:: I might not be awake tomorrow. We'll see.

]Garret:: *chuckle* Good. Spend at least one day of your vacation resting

Finn:: I be back the next next day. We talk more thens.

Garret:: Alright, that sounds fair. I can wait.

Finn:: Send me good dreams, kay?

Garret:: I can do that. Just think about... think about the most beautiful person you know. Topless.

Finn:: I gotta think o' ya topless? Niiiiiice.

Garret:: *snrk* Yeah, right. I'm serious though.

Finn:: Marie. She wassah waitress at a place I used ta go ta all the time. Fuckin' hot and nicest person I ever met. Always complimented me on my column in the paper. Said she read every one and kept 'em all.

Garret:: Oh man... please tell me you made a move

Finn:: I took her out once, but. . . She was just too sweet to have sex with on the first date. One of those girls where you don't wanna get her dirty like you.

Garret:: Yeah, I know the type.

Finn:: We just talked after that. She's married now, has a kid.

Garret:: You're better off not being married, I promise.

Finn:: I figured. *humms softly, faintly singing a song*

Garret:: Did I tell you about my porno moment?

Finn:: You're what?

Garret:: *grinning* Some woman fed me cheesecake and dragged me off to a classroom for sex

Finn:: You suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Garret:: I know!

Finn:: *mumbles and huffs* Bed's soft. *mubbles softly, trailing off slightly*

Garret:: Want me to sing you to sleep?

Finn:: *softly* Please.

Garret:: *surprised* Really? Okay. *thinks a moment, then softly* Something in the way she moves
Attracts me like no other lover
Something in the way she woos me...

Finn:: *hums along softly before fading and his breathing goes steady*

Garret:: *soft* Finn?

Finn:: *soft breathing*

Garret:: *laughs a little, then hangs up*